


Obligatory Coffeeshop AU

by AmbientMagic



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Fluff, Gen, Gossip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:38:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5164121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbientMagic/pseuds/AmbientMagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eiffel is the hapless barista.  Hera is the only one who can make the espresso machine work. Hilbert is the one always inventing new drinks.  Minkowski is the harried manager, and Lovelace is the new shift manager.  Specimen 34 is the vine in the corner that's taking up most of the bookshelf now.  Mr. Koudelka is the mystery customer who seems to only come in when Minkowski is working the front, and Mr. Cutter is the owner everyone hates.  </p><p>This is the coffeeshop Hephaestus, on 359 Wolf Street.</p><p>This is 95% Hera and Eiffel gossiping oops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obligatory Coffeeshop AU

"Hey Eiffel?"

"Yeah, Hera?"

"I'm really glad to be on shift with you again."

"I've missed you too, Hera."

Douglas Eiffel, DJ and barista at Hephaestus Coffee Shop, grinned and turned Beyonce a little higher. A squawk from the back made him sigh and turn it back down to what he deemed "incredibly quiet, seriously, you can't even hear the lyrics" and what Minkowski termed "ear-splittingly loud, what is wrong with you Douglas." Maybe DJ was more of a self-appointed title, but he thought the baristas deserved a little fun since Hera had finally come back to work after that car wreck. They'd all been to see her, of course, even Lovelace, who hadn't been hired until after Hera was gone, but visiting Hera at home wasn't the same as having the full crew together again.

The shop finally quieted down, the early morning rush quieting as adults went to work and students went to class. The occasional customer walked in, but it was finally still enough to chat. Just Doug, Hera, and Minkowski and Hilbert somewhere in the back. 

"Oh, boy, Hera, you have missed _so much_ since you've been off regular shifts. I don't even know where to start. Let's see. What do you already know about?"

"Umm, I know there's a new shift manager, something Lovelace? She came over last week with the rest of you. She seems a little intense."

"Yeah, she's scary. Like, Minkowski is scary, but me and her are chill, you know? I'm usually pretty sure she won't kill me. But Lovelace is even tinier than Minkowski and she's always bossing me around," Eiffel complained. 

Hera laughed. "She's the shift manager, second only to Minkowski. She's supposed to boss you around. Technically, _I_ can boss you around. Everyone can."

"Yeah, but I've been here longer! She shouldn't get to," he pouted. Then he brightened up. "I've gotten 16 people's numbers since I started wearing my new nametag though." He proudly showed Hera his new blue-purple-and-pink nametag that read "Bi-ffel." 

"And how many of them have you called?" Hera busied herself cleaning the espresso machine as Doug hopped onto the counter, swinging his feet.

"All of them! I now have eleven new texting buddies, I went on four dates, and one of them even got a second date. He was super cute."

Hera raised an eyebrow at Doug. "But...?" 

"But... I'm in my third year of college, and every second I'm not doing homework I'm working here. I don't really have time for dating. About half of the dates I've been on were study dates, you know."

Hera laughed. "Do those even count as dates?"

"Well..." Eiffel drawled. "They can either count as studying or as dates, if you know what I mean..." 

"And how are your grades doing, Romeo?" Hera's tone was fond, but exasperated. It was a tone with which Eiffel was intimately familiar. 

"Ummm... I am confident that I will get a bachelor's degree in communications soon. Someday. Probably?"

"That's what I thought." Smug was not a good look for Hera, Doug decided, and quickly changed the subject.

"Oh! Speaking of school, Hilbert's added another major. Can you believe it? So now he's biology in addition to math and physics. Dude's even started experimented on the potted plant on the shelf. Some kind of new plant food?"

Hera dutifully glanced over and gasped. She'd only been gone a couple of months, but the tiny vine that had once had maybe three leaves, barely clinging to life because Minkowski watered it every couple of weeks, had grown to cover the entire shelf, tendrils snaking past the top shelf and all the way down to the floor. Tiny flowers were even blooming on the sides facing the windows. "Holy shit, Eiffel!"

"What? I know, it's big now, right?"

"That's impossibly huge!"

Eiffel shrugged. "I figure than eventually Minkowski will trim it if it gets out of hand. Or make Hilbert do it.

"Oh! Speaking of Minkowski... This is the juiciest thing you've missed."

"What is?" Hera claimed to be above gossip but they both knew better. She put down the cloth she was using the wipe the counter (Hera liked to keep her hands busy) and leaned in to hear better.

"Minkowski has a ~secret admirer.~"

Hera gasped, delighted. "No way!"

"Yeah! Or at least that's what Hilbert and I decided it must be. There's this new guy who comes in every morning, right? Mr. Koudelka. He never gives any name except for that. Kinda short, a little older than Minkowski, but he's a fox. She was working the front one morning and took his order and I swear I could see the sparks flying all the way from the back! She asked for his name and actually got it! His first name is John apparently. So I, uh, took the liberty of writing Minkowski's number on the cup for her."

"Doug, you didn't!" Hera was scandalized and delighted.

"I did! It was obvious they were into each other and I am a great wingman. And now he comes in every morning and if she's out in the front she waves at him. It is so freaking cute, Hera. My life is turning into a rom com and I'm not even mad." Eiffel swooned dramatically against the syrup bottles. "Now all I have to do is hook you up with someone and my life's work is complete."

"Doug, you know I'm asexual, right?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're aromantic, right? There are lots of allo aces and aro allos."

"It doesn't automatically meant that, you're right, but I'm aromantic too." 

"Oh, awesome. Then my life's work _is_ complete! You're single and happy and have the best friend ever (that's me), Minkowski has met her nerdy Prince Charming, and I'm sure Hilbert could get a girlfriend if he ever poked his head out of the lab enough to get one. Thus, everyone around me is happy. Relationship-wise."

"What about Lovelace? Are you gonna find her a date?"

Eiffel shook his head. "Frankly, she scares me."

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**Author's Note:**

> This is a Secret Santa gift for azalanya on tumblr, I hope you enjoyed it!


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